Things are moving pretty fast. I have scheduled to have a port put in on Friday morning. The port is a devise they put under your skin and into a main artery so they can dispense the chemotherapy drugs directly into the vein. I will be starting chemo in a couple weeks. Some do not lose their hair. (yeah right...about 2 %) So I still got a chance!!! But the odds favor it so I am trying to mentally prepare myself for 6-12 months without hair. Please look at the humorous photos to the side of my blog and tell me which one you prefer. I prefer the bald old lady one myself. (By the way I did one of those photo enhanced images where they tell you what you will look like down the road a ways and that is what I got back!!!) If it were up to me I would go "all a naturale", unfortunately our society doesn't view/accept bald women as readily as bald men. So I am looking at options ...and...that really stinks.
on a more serious note...
When the oncologist called to schedule my port surgery I told her Friday the 15th was not convenient. I wanted it a different day. She said there were none available. I wanted to tell her to JUST CANCEL the whole *!^#!* thing then. And while you are at it take the cancer back too! Cuz I DONT NEED THIS. Dont have time for it dont want it. And YOU CANT MAKE ME TAKE IT.
After I hung up the phone I remembered I wasnt 4 anymore. I am a 48 year old woman and I have cancer. I cannot close my eyes and make it go away. But I do have choices. I can prevent it from coming back with chemotherapy and radiation treatments. I MUST make time. So I did some deep soul searching and called her back at 8 am the next morning and said if the slot was still available I would be ready.
Then...I took the day off and Heather, Scott and I took a road trip to Twin Falls to view the Temple openhouse. It was fun to get away and spend some time with my kids. I hope they know how much I love them.
By the way thanks for the calls and visits. I enjoy it! I wish I had time to call everyone and cry on their shoulders but I dont have that much time. And I really dont want to wallow in self pity. So dont be afraid to call me. This blog was not set up to alienate myself from the rest of the world. It was designed so I could share my thoughts and feeling with those who care about me but dont have time to call.
Love to all!!!
Love and Laughter
Mary
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6 years ago
3 comments:
Mary:
I think the hanky head makes you look like Lynette on Desperate Housewives. But no matter which way you choose we know that it is still the Mary we all come to love and enjoy in our lives. I hope your temple trip was fun.
I'm back after a week of babysitting the Arizona grandkids. My vote is the red scarf--it would be easier and probably not as scratchy or as hot as a wig would be.
Sounds like they are moving right along with the treatments. Go ahead and throw your 4 year old tantrums--we all have to vent now and then. My classes are all on Tues. & Thurs this semester so I am available on the other days if you need someone to take you for your chemo.
You haven't updated for a while. Miss reading about your wonderful sense of Humor. Keep up the good attitude. You have it most of the time. Love MOM
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